They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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