I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
