Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
