Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
