You smell like stripper and shame
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
