Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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