Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
