It's like God shit irony all over that family
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
