Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
