Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
