went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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