This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
