thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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