Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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