Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck appropriateness.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize