I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
