Tell her she can't have a vagina
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
