Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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