Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
one two three fourrrrnication!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He did a backflip because drugs
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