I need help removing her.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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