recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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