I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
