How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
True strength comes from lack of pants
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
