There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
