He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
