should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
