The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
