so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
