I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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