mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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