he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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