He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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