Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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