____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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