So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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