he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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