I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think my tv is drunk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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