Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
