So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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