so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
