You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
