Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
