What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize