bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
