is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
