they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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