when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
