But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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