I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
