Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
