would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
