Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
