There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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