how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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