I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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