I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize