3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
