I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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