brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
