So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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