So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
