Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
