Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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