carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The best revenge is premature balding
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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